Thanksgiving was full of good food, laughter, lots of love, and grief. This year is full of transitions for me as my daughters apply to colleges and prepare to leave home. While I was thankful for the break, I also found myself eager to return to a routine.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and as much as I love it, it’s also a reminder of loss. The people no longer celebrate with us, the relationships that ended and reshaped family structures, the awareness of time passing, and that this may be the last Thanksgiving with my daughters living at home.
I’m not alone in this. For many people, the holidays are emotionally complicated. The connection and disconnection, the love and loss, and the joy and grief with family and loved ones can leave people feeling unsettled as we head fully into the holiday season.
All of this happens while we’re still working. Some people dive into December and focus on end-of-year goals, while others are too distracted or sad to engage fully.
As a leader or people manager, you know the work still needs to get done. So how do you balance the tension between productivity and empathy?
I interviewed Joyel Crawford, CEO of Crawford Leadership Strategies, on my podcast, Managing Well, about a topic that often gets overlooked: grief at work. Drawing on both personal experiences and professional expertise, we talked about what it looks like for managers to support their teams through loss and emotional distress.
Here are a few key takeaways from our conversation.
Empathy and Emotional Intelligence
Effective leadership, especially in times of grief, depends on strong people skills, the essence of emotional intelligence. These skills are rarely taught in management programs, yet they are necessary for effective leadership.
Grief does not disappear when someone opens their laptop. Managers who notice, listen, and respond with care create teams and workplaces where people can be their whole professional selves.
Manager Training is Crucial
Managers need support and skill-building to navigate the ways grief shows up at work. When managers are unsure of what to say, they often say nothing. Silence usually leaves employees feeling uncared for, unseen, and even more alone.
Respect Boundaries
Some employees want to talk about what they’re going through. Others will not. Your role is to create connection and offer support, not require disclosure.
Here are a few phrases you can use:
“You don’t need to share details, but it seems like you’ve been having a rough time.”
“I’ve noticed you seem less focused lately and have missed some deadlines. Is something interfering with your work? I also want to respect your privacy if you’d prefer not to share that.”
“Have you considered using our EAP or mental health benefits to get support?”
When Possible, Be Flexible
Grief can make it hard to focus, meet deadlines, or perform at a usual level. A grieving employee may be physically present but emotionally struggling.
Consider asking, “Would it be helpful if we reviewed what is urgent to complete this month and what can wait until next month?”
Flexibility helps people cope without the added pressure of pretending everything is fine.
Tune in to the full podcast episode: Handling Grief in the Workplace
If your organization wants to equip managers with emotionally intelligent leadership skills for 2026, including how to navigate layoffs, grief, burnout, and complex team dynamics, reply to this email to bring this work to your organization in the new year.