My twin daughters leave for college soon, and eighteen years of rhythm ends in a single weekend. People keep asking what I will do with all that time.
What I know is that the time disappears if you let it. Busy work fills whatever space you give it.
That question, where my energy actually belongs, is the same one I ask leaders. So I am thinking a lot about rest right now, and about how rarely we actually take it.
What a Team Learns When Their Leader Never Stops
Years ago, I knew an executive director who worked constantly. On vacations, weekends, and during breakfast with his family, he was always working.
He led an organization with unlimited PTO. While he encouraged his team to “take all the time you need”, he never did. When there is a conflict between what is said and what is done, people believe what is done. That team learned the unwritten rule that good employees are always working.
Research shows that people leaders are 1.5 times more likely than other employees to plan to work during their vacations. But when managers encourage and model fully disconnected time off, their employees are 71 percent more likely to actually switch off on vacation. Plus, the more rested you are, the more productive and less burned out you are when you return to the office.
The Way You Rest, or Refuse To, Becomes Your Team’s Instruction Manual
This matters for leaders personally, too. According to DDI’s Global Leadership Forecast, roughly four in ten stressed leaders have considered leaving their roles entirely to protect their well-being. Burnout doesn’t usually stay with one person. It seeps out, drains teams, erodes trust, and pushes good employees to search for new roles.
You Are Not That Important, and That Is Good News
Early in my career, I told my team I was taking time off and that they could text me in an emergency.
One of them said, “If it’s a real emergency, we’re calling 911, not you. There is nothing here that serious.”
She was right. My team was full of incredibly capable people, and my constant availability was quietly telling them I did not trust them to handle things. Letting capable people be capable is one of the most generous things a leader can do. It is also one of the hardest, because it requires admitting that the work will continue without you.
Unless you are in a profession where someone’s life is literally on the line, the work will be there when you return.
How to Prevent Leadership Burnout, Starting with One Vacation
Fully unplugging is a skill that builds over time. What I work on with leaders is a practical preparation process that makes stepping away possible.
Before you leave, look honestly at what actually needs to happen while you are gone. Release what can wait. Delegate what someone else can own. Meet with them before you leave to give them clear parameters, answer their questions, and then let them own it fully. Check in with them when you return, not while you’re gone.
Then communicate clearly to your entire team. Tell them when you will be unavailable and what to do in the meantime. If a full week offline feels impossible, start smaller. Let them know you will check your email on Tuesday and Thursday at 10 am for 1 hour and will respond only to urgent matters. When the hour ends, close the laptop and go back to your vacation.
Setting clear boundaries and expectations that you communicate and keep, builds more trust with your team than always being available and resenting them.
Small Shifts Are The Whole Strategy
Lasting culture change comes from small behaviors practiced consistently, over time. Two decades of helping organizations change have taught me that grand gestures fade. A leader who visibly disconnects and takes real time off changes what a team believes is possible.
This is also the lesson I am carrying into my own transition. As a mother, I have always found it easier to do hard things for my daughters than for myself. Many leaders are the same. If you cannot step away for your own sake, do it for your team. They need to see that rest is possible, and you are the only one who can show them.
My days as an empty nester will fill up quickly if I let them. Busy work expands to fit whatever space we give it. Deciding where my energy goes, deliberately and in advance, is the small shift I am practicing right now. The same discipline that protects a vacation protects a life.
Start Before You Think You Need To
If you’re a leader and have time off planned this month, prepare for your time away from work like it’s your job. Because it is.
If this resonates with what you are navigating in your organization, we would love to talk. You can contact us to schedule a discovery call here, explore free resources at theladipogroup.com, or connect with Tonya on LinkedIn.
