Chris & Rihanna, Dangerous Love

Well, it looks like the reunification of Rihanna and Chris has been confirmed. Unfortunately.

Am I the only one disappointed that Rihanna has seemingly returned to her ex Chris Brown? As a therapist I am very aware of the history and impact of domestic violence and family trauma on current relationships. Many people who grow up in physically abusive households become involved in physically abusive relationships as adults. And many people who grow up in abusive households also go on to be involved in non-violent relationships. (Go to http://www.womenagainstabuse.org/ for more detailed information about domestic violence and resources in the Philadelphia area)

Had I not watched Rihanna’s 2009 interview with Diane Sawyer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJgQ8aN1-pM) I don’t think that I would be disappointed with her. I was surprised by how insightful and candid she was in describing her relationship with Chris Brown. She seemed genuine in her affection for him and her feelings of loss at the end of the relationship. But what was most impressive to me was her recognition that if she remained with him her actions would be a model to millions of girls and women world-wide. “Even if Chris never hit me again, who is to say that their boyfriend won’t? . . . Who’s to say that they won’t kill these girls?” Rihanna says. Maybe Rihanna left Chris for herself, maybe she did it for her young fans who were watching her every move. Who knows why she left Chris Brown but she did and she did it publicly.

And now it seems that she has returned to a relationship she described as “the more in love we became, the more dangerous we became for each other.” Dangerous relationships aren’t loving relationships. They are just what you said Rihanna, dangerous.

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