The workplace and family structures aren’t so different. Both have rules—often unspoken—that we must follow to feel included, connected, and valued. Because we have a deep human need for belonging, it’s easy to find ourselves engaging in behaviors that don’t always serve us, from laughing off inappropriate jokes to staying quiet when someone is being bullied. The drive to fit in and maintain harmony can lead to us tolerating harmful behaviors we’d typically avoid.
Emotional intelligence skills (EQ) and psychological safety practices create healthy work environments. But here’s the thing: we need these same qualities in our personal lives, especially when navigating the complexities of family dynamics during the holidays. This Thanksgiving, let’s bring the same emotional intelligence skills that serve us well at work into our family interactions. Here’s how:
1. Know What You Need: Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. It means understanding what triggers and makes you feel good and what you need to stay balanced. Before the holiday chaos begins, take some time to reflect. What would make the holiday more manageable? Is it a quiet moment before the festivities or a plan to step outside when things get overwhelming?
Take time to write down your thoughts or talk to someone you trust. This reflection gives you the clarity to set expectations and create a plan for taking care of yourself throughout the day.
2. Take Breaks: Self-Management
Thanksgiving (and family events in general) can get intense. Managing your emotions when tensions run high is essential. This is where self-management comes in. Sometimes, the best way to manage stress is by stepping away for a moment of calm. Whether it’s taking a quick walk, stepping outside for fresh air, or volunteering to run a quick errand, give yourself permission to take breaks throughout the day to reset.
3. Find Your Person: Empathy
It can sometimes feel like empathy is in short supply during family gatherings. But empathy doesn’t always have to come from everyone in your presence. You just need one person – a sibling, a cousin, or a close friend – who gets you. If your person isn’t in the room, make sure you can call or text them.
4. Stay as Long as You Can Be Kind: Relationship Management
At the heart of every relationship is the need for respect and kindness. Sometimes, though, we reach a point where staying in a conversation or environment is no longer productive or healthy. In those moments, it’s important to know when to leave. It may be time to step away if you become irritable or short-tempered. Remember, stay as long as you can be kind.
The holidays are meant to be a time of connection and joy. By applying the principles of emotional intelligence, you can navigate family dynamics with greater ease. Being self-aware, taking necessary breaks, showing empathy, and knowing when to step away all empower you to make the most of your time with loved ones while tending to your emotional well-being.
Let’s carry these EQ skills beyond the workplace and into our personal lives, ensuring that we’re supported at work and in our most intimate relationships.
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