I didn’t create a New Year’s resolution. I don’t like the idea of starting off the New Year with this grand idea or gesture of how I am going to change/improve/grow myself. Inevitably by March I struggle to remember what it was I was supposed to change.
Instead I thought that I would enter the New Year reflecting on 2011 and thinking about what I want for myself in 2012. Turns out that what I want for myself this year is not much different from what I wanted last year. That is not to say that I didn’t accomplish some of what I wanted to last year but I haven’t seen everything through. Some new ideas were planted, some need tweaking, and others need more attention.
The past few years have been busy with family life, work life, and the constant learning of balancing the two. This past fall felt like a reemergence of myself. In balancing work, family, and friends I wasn’t giving as much time and attention to myself as I needed. I love being alone, really love it, and it’s not something that I make enough time for. Time alone for me is essential. It’s not just something that I enjoy but something that I truly need in order to feel grounded, content, and able to give to others.
As I began to carve out time alone I realized that I wanted more! The amount that I was giving myself was no longer sufficient. But where would I find the time? Then I recognized that there are many times that I am alone but don’t appreciate the quiet time because I’m rushing to get things done. This is perfect alone time that I’m wasting! Instead of rushing through grocery shopping I’ve recognized it as the perfect weeknight getaway. After work and family responsibilities are tended to I meander through the grocery store doing nothing but being quiet and enjoying the moments to myself.
What, if anything, do you need to do more of to give yourself what you need?
