Continuing the work of 2011

I didn’t create a New Year’s resolution. I don’t like the idea of starting off the New Year with this grand idea or gesture of how I am going to change/improve/grow myself. Inevitably by March I struggle to remember what it was I was supposed to change. Instead I thought that I would enter the New Year reflecting on 2011 …

Enough of the Bloody Images!

Everywhere you turn there are news reports of the death of Muammar Gaddafi. What has been disturbing me for the past two days is the images of his dead body EVERYWHERE. I went to the store to buy a banana and the newspaper next to the bananas had a graphic image of Gaddafi’s corpse. Later I went to get coffee. …

Quietly Anxious

Many of my clients are ‘superwomen’, or at least they appear that way. They are Black, professional women who are often look put together even when they’re wearing sweats. But their insides tell a different story. Inside they’re churning with anxiety. Their mind is constantly racing, planning, and thinking; it’s never still or quiet. Their stomach is uneasy and rarely …

Out of the Mouths of Babes

by Lexx Brown-James In many communities of color there is a belief that “children should be seen and not heard.” I recently met with a 7 year old girl who turned this idea around with me. When I asked her about those who loved her she replied “Grandpa.” She proceeded to tell me how sick he was and that she …

Trying to Grow Old Gracefully

Did you see the article about the 83-year old woman who got breast implements?! View the article. I’m in the process of learning to grow old gracefully. ‘In the process’ are the key words of that statement as I have not fully realized that statement. I don’t look too hard at the wrinkles on my face, ignore the gray hairs …

Lexx’s Hairstory

At the age of 2 my mother gave me a relaxer. I did not have hair up until she game me the relaxer, I have no idea how it worked, but it did. Then growing up, in a predominantly, culture of power communicty I wore braids. My mother and I would drive one Saturday to the one black hair shop …

Yesterday I Cried

In my 14 years of doing counseling, yesterday I did something that I have never done. I cried in a therapy session. A client Vanessa* was finally able to adopt a child. After years of struggling with infertility and then waiting for more years to adopt a child, she was finally going to be a mother, something that she had …

Tonya’s Hairstory

Like many little Black girls my age I had pressed and then relaxed hair as a child. My mom always used a hot comb that sat on the stove top and I would sit in our orange kitchen chair dreading the whole process. When I became of age, about 10 years old for my house, I was allowed to get …

Time Alone, the Hard Way

I have wanted, no needed, some alone time for a couple of weeks now. Last week I started to make plans to carve out a morning where I would be responsible for no one or no thing. A morning during Memorial Day weekend was my plan. It’s a three-day weekend and I would get what I needed without disrupting too …

I’m Disgusted by Psychology Today

This is an open letter to Psychology Today: I am disgusted by Psychology Today. Racism is alive and well in our country and in our media, that’s no surprise. The fact that a researcher, Satoshi Kanazawa used “science” (faulty science and research) to promote his own racist ideas and agenda is not a surprise either. I think what is most …